Quick Tips on Zoom Dating

Can The Best Dates Happen by Video?

With the COVID pandemic hopefully receding, dating can get back to the good old days of two people across from each other within six feet and without face gear.

We’ve learned a lot though. Who knew how much could be accomplished remotely!

Can we take Zoom dating for keeps? It sure seems to have a lot of advantages.

I’d say, yes!

If you do it right. Here’s How.

You’ve Got This

We’ve all gone through the masterclass in Zoom <fill in the blank>. We’ve spent many months working, socializing, connecting with family, and in general accessing the world remotely.

You know this game. Don’t let dating be any different.

If you DO feel more awkward about dating on video than you do about studying for finals or doing a team meeting, try these:

• Focus on The Goal: Many of us get very uncomfortable when dates don’t work out or when they feel off.Remember, the reason you’re putting yourself out there in an unnatural setting is to get married! If all you wanted was short term comfort, you could snuggle with and iPad and munchies. You’re in this for the long term rewards of marriage

  Let that goal orientation carry you when it’s tough.

• Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously: Look in the mirror 5 min before the date or event and impersonate someone. Do high kicks. Sing your favorite song into a toothbrush. Talk yourself into a place of confidence!Good news is this isn’t COVID, nobody dies from it. At worst it’ll be awkward for a bit and you’ll blow past that.
• Call It Out: Feel free to break the ice and be honest about how this makes you feel. Chances are your date has had their own awkward video dating moments. You can laugh about it, diffuse the discomfort, and move on.
• Change it Up: A Zoom date doesn’t have to be all talk. There are a lot of creative ways to give variety and personality to your video dates. Feel free to experiment and make each date your own.

What to Avoid

• Don’t be camera shy: Dive in the deep end. Even if you feel uncomfortable, get talking early on. The faster you get talking the more natural it will feel.
• But don’t forget the other person is there: It’s easier to do too much talking without another person physically in front of you or when you’re feeling nervous. Be aware of that, to keep the dialogue flowing in both directions.
• Don’t make it more formal: Just because the conversation is over video doesn’t mean you’re chatting with a client in London. No black tie necessary. Let your smile shine!

• But don’t completely let your hair down: You shouldn’t look like you just got back from the gym – even if you’re Zooming from your couch. A shower, nice clothes, and typical grooming will put you in a good headspace and make you look your best.
• Messing up: Even if you bomb it on video, get up and try again. We’ve all bombed something we later learned to do quite well. Don’t let a bad experience limit the reach of your dating.

How to Look Your Best

• Be yourself – everyone else is taken:-)

• Use a location with soft and even lighting. If possible, get some light on your face. This avoids shadowing under your eyes, nose, etc. (top lighting is a Hollywood trick to make characters look creepy).
• The background should be neutral and pleasant. Keep clutter, distraction, and anything that looks like a bathroom or bedroom out of the shot.
• Place yourself on screen so that you comfortably fill the “frame”. Don’t have too much dead space on any side.
• Some things that don’t look good on video cameras (including webcams) are bright colors, tight patterns, and blingy jewelry. Take it or leave it.
• For girls, beware of too much makeup. There’s a reason people get their makeup professionally done before pictures. Less is more, simple and elegant. Let that inner beauty shine!

How Long Should a Zoom Date Last?

It’s probably a good idea to keep Zoom shidduch dates shorter than in-person dates. Here’s why.

Since you’re not together in space with ambience, scenery, good food etc. more heavy lifting is placed on the conversation and interaction. I’d recommend that first video chats stay under an hour unless it is going so well that both of you clearly want to continue.

Err on the side of keeping it shorter. Better leave your date wanting more than leaving them frustrated or bored.

Keep Video Dating in Your Toolbox

When the world gets over this pandemic (please God super soon!) the choice to date in-person or by video will be a liberating option. Take it if ya like it, leave it if you don’t.

It’s a good bet though that logistically intensive dating such as speed dating events or long distance dating will still be done by video. I’d therefore recommend that you brush up on the video dating skills above regardless.

While there are some specific tips for speed dating on Zoom/video, overall the more natural and approachable you present on video, the better you’ll be able to use this great channel to efficiently find Mr/s right.

For the right person you WILL be able to be yourself, allow them to see you for who you are, and find in them many unique qualities even over WiFi.

Zoom in on what’s important, give it your best shot, daven, and bring out that COVID resilience if you need to pick yourself up and try again!

With 14 years of personal dating experience, including hundreds of men and thousands of dates, Rachel’s highly actionable coaching comes directly from the trenches. Get clarity and traction in your dating today with a free consultation at rachel@d8gr8.com or 90-D8GR8 NOW (903) 847-8669. Find at more at d8gr8.com.