Dear SimchaSpot,
A young man came to see me yesterday about helping him find a shidduch. After speaking to him on the phone prior to meeting him and then in person I suggested a girl whom I believe would be a good match. He said it sounded good. He then asked me, “so who else do you have?” I mentioned another suggestion, although I stressed my reasons why I feel he should look into the first girl I mentioned.
He said he would be interested in her too. He then said, and I am quoting “Don’t you have…like a catalog…to show me of girls?” After seeing my look of surprise, he informed me that every other shadchan he visited, allowed him to choose girls from a book.
My response was the following: I do not present catalogues of singles to choose from. I am not Achashveirosh. Such techniques should be ostracized. If I were a single boy or girl, I would be mortified to be categorized in such a manner. That is showing lack of kovod habrios. It is dehumanizing and a great contributor to the current shidduch crisis.
I explained the method in which I redt shidduchim – The way it was done years ago.
I am appealing to shadchanim, please do not practice Shadchanis by offering singles to flip through an album or catalog. It is just not right…
