Are you one of those people who feel their heart beating so loudly before a first date that you can’t even hear yourself think? If so, you’re not alone.
Most people don’t realize that this feeling you are experiencing is an anxious/excited feeling, but your brain is interpreting it as fear. Of course you’ve been told far too many times to just take deep breaths and try to convince yourself that there is nothing to be afraid of. But we all know it’s not so easy to get rid of that particular type of pre-first date nervous jitters.
And sometimes, it gets so bad, that you actually dread going out altogether even though the sane part of your brain can remember that once you’re on the date, it’s usually not so bad. And sometimes it’s still almost impossible to shake that dreadful feeling.
You may find some of the tips below helpful toward changing your pre-first date experience. Check them out.
(1) Listen to good music beforehand that either relaxes you or inspires you to dance out your nervous energy.
(2) Before the date, prepare some interesting topics to discuss. Make sure you’re up to date on politics, what’s happening is Israel, and any relevant subject that enables you to feel and sound relevant and interesting.
(3) If you’re into yoga or any other type of exercise routine – take time that day to get into your workout routine, which should put you into a positive frame of mind.
(4) Create low expectations about your date. The world and your future for that matter is not resting on the success of this particular date.
(5) Avoid caffeine prior to your date. Caffeine is known to over stimulate you and add to the jittery feelings. Many people swear by Chamomile tea to have the opposite effect and take the edge off.
(6) Jitters are often about fear of judgment. Remind yourself that you are doing half of the judging. This notion can feel empowering.
(7) Remind yourself how terrific you are. (Or just ask your mother!) Who wouldn’t enjoy your company? So just lighten up and have fun!
(8) Don’t try to overwork the date. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Remember – there are two people participating on this date and you are both responsible for its success. It’s not all on your shoulders.
(9) Remind yourself that sometimes a little bit of nervousness is not such a bad thing. It can keep you on your toes and enable you to be your best dating self.
(10) Remember that the person you are going out on a date with is probably just as nervous as you are!
Happy Dating.
The Navidaters, 516-224-7779
