The Following Was Received in the SimchaSpot@gmail.com by an Anonymous Writer – Sound off in the comment box below:
I was asked to put together a singles event for a very specific group within a community. The event was beautiful despite the weather. Everything was going great until one of the girls came over to me in tears. She asked me how she looks.
I responded “you look fabulous.” She then said that she is concerned because one of the facilitators/shadchan took a picture of her on her cell phone, and she really didn’t want her to.
So I asked the girl the following. “If you didn’t want to be photographed, why did you allow that woman to do that?” Her response was, ” I told her I don’t want a picture taken of me, but she said that if I don’t let her take the picture, she won’t help me find a shidduch and that it means I’m not serious about marriage ”
Seeing how distressed this girl was, I walked over to that facilitator/shadchan to see if she would delete that picture. As I’m standing there, I noticed that she was photographing others too. My eyes welled up with tears. So, I started asking those singles, “are you ok with having your picture taken by that woman?” Their response was unanimous. They were NOT OK with it. But felt they had no choice.
This is not the first time I have witnessed such disturbances. At my own personal events, I have had to ask facilitators whom I have invited to apologize and delete photos they took of singles who felt coerced into having an impromptu picture taken.
Dear singles, please do not agree to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, even if you are promised a shidduch. That is just a bullying tactic. Finding one’s soul mate is hard enough. Do not empower anyone to make you feel desperate.
You are all wonderful human beings, and deserve to be treated with respect and kindness by each and every person.
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