The Shidduch Reference – A Semi-Satirical Story



A semi-satirical story                               Menucha Levin

“Hello, yes, this is Pessie Grossmoil speaking. Oh, you’re calling for a shidduch reference for the Zuckerbergs’ daughter? Which one? They have more than a few, you know, blee ayin hara! The oldest girl, Hadassah? Sure, no problem, I’m more than pleased to give you a reference. They’re a very nice family, though still sort of new in the neighborhood, just about eight months now, but since they’re right next door to us, I feel we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well even in that short time.

Hadassah’s a really sweet girl and so is her mom, Mindy. I mean, right after they moved in, I had a baby and they brought over meals for a week. I’m still not 100% sure what hechsherim they use but it’s the thought that counts, right? And they don’t mind if I drop my kids and the baby off at their house whenever I have to run out to do errands, even if I get back a bit later than I planned. They’re all great with kids, really, I wish I had their patience! How’s their tznius, you’re asking? Well, that’s fine except… well…one of Mindy’s sheitels is rather long, though she told me she didn’t buy it herself.

It was a gift from her mother-in-law for a family simcha and I figure she might have insisted it looked great and Mindy probably didn’t want to get into a thing about it with her.

imagesOWJY23YWYou know how it is with mothers-in-law, especially like the one I have – oy, don’t even ask! Hadassah’s own tznius is okay except for…well… that one time when I went to pick my kids up from her house, she’d been finger painting with them and they were having such a great time they didn’t want to come home! Anyway Hadassah was wearing what looked like a denim skirt that seemed a bit on the short side to me.

120229-Finger-PaintingMaybe where they lived before that was acceptable but not here in our community where the tznius standards are, fortunately, much higher than some other places! Oh, and the oldest son Moshe wears a rather small-size yarmulka stuck into his bushy hair which I couldn’t help noticing when he shoveled our driveway during the big blizzard. He refused to take any payment though, but of course I insisted, and in the end he said to give it to tzedakah.

Anyway I think Mindy’s husband Yaakov might be a baal teshuva because once I saw a car drive up to their house before Shabbos was actually over.

imagesCSTWLQVDAn elderly couple got out who maybe were his parents, who knows? I didn’t ask, it’s not my business, and I never look to see what’s going on with them on purpose chas v’sholem, I was just looking out the window to check if the men were coming home from shul. As for some of their other Shabbos guests, well, they aren’t quite… the norm, if you get what I mean.

Are Mindy and Yaakov into kiruv? It could be that they are or maybe they just have lots of…let’s say…unusual- looking friends.

I don’t have definite proof of course but I suspect they may have internet in their house and not just for work purposes, because they all seem to be amazingly well-informed about what’s happening everywhere in the world.

Like how else could they possibly know stuff about the economy in China or what the weather’s like in England?  Not that I care about any of those things myself!  Anyway, I hope my reference might help with this shidduch, you never know! As I said, the Zuckerbergs are a nice family and Hadassah’s a sweet girl and I’m looking forward to dancing at her wedding in the near future! imagesGNXCNB4P

Look, if you should need any more information, feel free to call me back anytime! I mean that, really! Tizku l’mitzvos and bye for now!



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