ASK THE SHADCHAN: More Indoor Shidduch Date Suggestions

    Okay, so you tried the bookstore/library idea and hopefully it went really well. But where do you, literally, go from here?

    Β Doing chesed as a shidduch date: – This is a totally perfect idea!Β  Arrange to meet up and help serve breakfast, lunch or dinner to unfortunate people at a local soup kitchen. Not only will it give you the opportunity to know each other better but you will also be doing something worthwhile, a true act of chesed. Β Keep in mind the saying that one mitzvah leads to another!Β  Plus it makes you look good in your shidduch date’s eyes, which is okay too. Additionally, it will put your own problems into perspective.Β  Okay, maybe you haven’t found your beshert yet but at least you don’t need to eat at a soup kitchen.

    However, if there isn’t a soup kitchen or similar place nearby, there are still other chesed options to choose from.Β  You could pack Shabbos food boxes for needy families. Or you might help prepare meals, sandwiches, and snacks for people whose relatives are in the hospital.Β  This will also give you the opportunity to discuss your food preferences with each other.

    Moishy:Β  Mm, I just love peanut butter, you know? Sometimes when I’m in a rush and need a quick snack, I eat it right out of the jar with a spoon.Β  So, tell me, do you like crunchy or smooth peanut butter better?

    Shaindy:Β  Actually, neither. I can’t stand any kind of peanut butter, it totally gums up my mouth. Plus my youngest brother Eli is very allergic to peanut butter so we can’t have it in the house even if I did like it.

    Moishy:Β  (sounding disappointed) Really, that’s too bad. But doesn’t he have one of those anti-allergy pen things to inject himself with when he visits us?

    Thinks: Β β€˜Oh, oh, shouldn’t have said that!’

     

    Now the next idea sounds a bit more unusual but actually has a lot of positive aspects: consider visiting an elderly person at a nursing home or an assisted living facility. Many of these places today are very nice, clean, and modern-looking. In fact, some of them resemble a comfortable hotel! Most of the residents love having visitors and it’s interesting to schmooze a bit with them, asking about their lives when they were your age. Β And just think what you could learn about the shidduch process back in their days!

    You and your date will both find it an interesting experience. Afterwards you can sit in the lobby of the nursing home and chat with each other. Β It’s warm and indoors, free of charge, and despite some similarities to a hotel lobby, much less likely that you will meet anyone there that you actually know!

    Actually it’s a good idea to go there on your own for the first time, meet with one of the elderly residents, start schmoozing and see if you hit it off. Then the next time you can bring your shidduch date along to meet to your newly adopted β€˜bubby’ or β€˜zaidy.’

    On the other hand, that might not even be necessary. Β Imagine this scenario:

    Β Mr. Schwartz:Β  You are such a nice young man, Moishy, coming out here to talk to an old man like me. So, nu, tell me, maybe you are looking for a shidduch?

    Moishy:Β  It’s interesting you should say that, Mr. Schwartz, actually that is exactly…”

    Mr. Schwartz:Β  Oh, so you are interested, Moishy?Β  I thought so! That’s marvellous! You see, I have a granddaughter Estie, oy, such a wonderful girl, she really has alle mailes, smart, sweet, pretty, top of her class!Β  And she’s studying to be an occupational therapist!Β  I have a feeling the two of you will be perfect for each other!Β  Look, here she is now, coming to visit her old zaidy! She has such chesed, just like you!Β  Oh, I knew this was beshert!

    Β Of course, if things really do work out with you and Estie, you won’t need to go any further!

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